01
Your resume
The story, proof, and formatting that get you quietly filtered out.
Brutal first. Better always.
The brutally honest way to level up.
Submit the thing you're worried about. Get the first impression people are too polite to say out loud—then the specific way forward.
Free savage teaser. No card required. Your source stays private.
Torch / roast-my-resume.pdf
AnalyzingYour first impression
“This reads like you tried to make every recruiter nod off at once.”
You have good experience. It's just buried under vague claims, buzzwords, and a layout with no point of view.
Free roast
Shareable teaser
$0
Detailed report
Specific. Actionable.
$9
How it works
Clear feedback. No soft edges.
01
Submit it
Tell Torch what you want to improve and add your resume, profile, photos, deck, or listing.
02
Get roasted
See the sharp first impression immediately. It's free, fast, and built for sharing.
03
Get better
Unlock the complete report for the fixes, rewrites, and next moves that actually matter.
Bring your evidence
The things you can't stop second-guessing.
02
Your profile
LinkedIn, bios, and dating profiles that are trying too hard—or not at all.
03
Your visuals
Photos, decks, and listings where the first impression does all the talking.
And anything else where a stronger first impression changes the outcome.
Start with yoursPrice of clarity
A roast costs less than guessing.
Start with the version people can share. When you're ready, unlock the report that tells you exactly what to change.
Free roast
$0
A sharp, shareable teaser that shows you the first impression.
- Savage first take
- Private submission
- Optional share card
Detailed report
$9
The ruthless but helpful version: clear priorities, explanations, suggested rewrites, and next moves.
- Everything in free
- Detailed breakdown
- Specific fixes
- Priority action plan
No surprises
Questions before you hand it over?
Submit. Get roasted. Get better.